Sometimes
by ErinM
Summary: Why was Natalie so upset at the end of Black Book? post-Black Book


**Title:** Sometimes  
**Author:** Erin  
**Characters:** Natalie and Stephen (mention of Donna and Doug Lawrence, Meredith Beck and Brooke Beck)  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** Why was Natalie so upset at the end of _Black Book_?  
**Warning:** Just after the fade-to-black of _Black Book_.  
**Disclaimer:** The original characters belongs to NBC and their respective actors.

"...family..." was when Natalie couldn't take it any more. She saw the look on Donna's face and a sharp, stabbing pain in her chest forced Natalie to turn away. Damnit, she was doing her job. That was all.

Sometimes, she really hated her job.

Donna was her best friend away from work - one of the few remaining – and while Natalie had heard her words, Donna hadn't confirmed the end of their friendship in the hospital hallway. She hadn't denied it either.

Natalie breezed into the hallway and headed for her small lab – her personal bubble, of sorts – and reached for the folder on the top of her inbox. Flipping it open, she glanced at the report while moving around the work table to the countertop.

_Damnit._

She scanned the page again, not having seen any of the results on the report as her brain was still in the hospital. Looking up to the door of the upper cabinet, Natalie blinked, knowing the tears were there, and returned to the report. A moment later, she dropped the folder to the countertop and leaned over, head in her hands and elbows resting on the folder.

Having lost control of her emotions for a whole three-point-six seconds, Natalie took a few deep breaths and straightened, automatically turning so that her back was to the door as she wiped at her eyes.

Natalie Durant wasn't stupid. But she was thankful that Stephen – no doubt aware she'd hurried out of the library - had at least given her a full minute before following after her. Taking one last deep breath – and praying her face wasn't too red – Natalie put on her 'Doctor Durant'-face and turned back to the folder.

"Nat?" he asked simply. He wasn't going to push her into telling him what was wrong; he already knew what was wrong. But he wasn't going to go away, either. He would stay there until she talked to him. It was his covert way of I'm-not-going-to-make-you-talk-but-I'll-stand-here-and-hover-until-you-ido/i-talk-so-you-might-as-well-tell-me way of doing it. And he was damn good at it.

Sometimes, she really hated Connor.

"The results for Des Moines are still being processed," she stated, acting as if he'd just come in to check on their pending cases. "And we will probably have to go to Austin, after all. The treatments-" She closed her eyes and huffed. Stephen had moved next to her and was now reading the report over her shoulder.

Reaching around her, Stephen pulled the report from her hand and closed the folder as he set it down. Raising an eyebrow, he propped himself against the counter and faced Natalie, blank expression on his face. Natalie gave him a similar look in response and turned away while crossing her arms.

Rolling her eyes slightly, she knew he had won and that made her angry. Granted, the sooner she humored him and cleared the air, he'd move on to obsessing over the next case and leave her alone. Off-handedly, she wondered when Miss Independent Supergirl-Doctor Natalie Durant was replaced by the person she saw in the mirror these days. In the last months, she'd begun getting overly-attached to patients and children and depending on-

Sometimes, she really hated the days Connor wore a suit.

"You can't beat yourself up over it, Nat," he said, referring to the fight with Donna. "The woman just found out that her husband was-" Natalie spun around and frowned.

"That's not the point, Stephen!" She took a deep breath and looked at the floor then pushed past him and reached for another folder from the stack. She set the folder down on the work table and flipped it open, but didn't look at the contents. "I knew..." She swallowed and looked quickly to him and back down. "And I didn't tell her."

Stephen frowned and pushed away from the counter and leaned against the work table.

"And you are bound to confidentiality. She knows that. Just giver her-" Natalie stepped back slightly and leaned over, taking a deep breath. He hated that she was so upset about this, and knew that simply saying 'It'll be all right' wasn't going to make her feel better.

Sometimes he hated that she was so much like him.

Stephen sighed slightly and frowned. "Look, Nat," he started quietly. "Yes, this all sucks. She's mad. You're mad. But it's not your fault." He took a deep breath as she straightened and faced the wall. "It's Doug Lawrence's fault. He made his choice. Not you." He pushed off the table and slowly moved around to Natalie side, stopping just close enough to pull her into a hug, but not actually doing so.

"If your roles were reversed; if she was in your place-" She flinched and shifted her gaze to the floor.

"She was," Natalie whispered, finally ready to face what was digging in her gut. Clenching her jaw, Natalie looked up to Stephen and gave him one of those 'I'm-about-to-start-crying-here-so-don't-make-fun-of-me' smiles and added: "And she did."

Sometimes, they both really hated life.


End file.
